Personal Statement Draft 4

Ok, so I've written 3 different first drafts of my personal statement already and I suddenly had the itching to come to this website and blog another random potential personal statement. It's 2 am in the morning. S peed on the bed, which awoke me from the unintended slumber that was supposed to be replaced by diligent studying on organic chem. Well, that's another story. For the theme of this personal statement, I chose to focus on my reasons for becoming a doctor, rather than highlight what career-related experiences I've had.

Here's my first draft:

I would be lying if I say that I did not want to become a doctor to "help" people but for the prestige or money. Wanting to help people was all that I wanted to do for the past four years since I have graduated with my bachelors from Loyola. At the time, I had done most of what typical premedical students needed to accomplish. I took all the prerequisites, volunteered at a local hospital, conducted some research, and even gained industry experience as a lab technician at a hospital. I took whatever humanity course I could that related to healthcare and even read some interesting books on healthcare and the practice of medicine. However, I held back from applying for medical school because I had not resolved the two things that really matter: my desire and confidence to become a successful doctor.

How ironic is it now that after having learned as many drawbacks as I can about a medical career as a doctor do I still want to become one?

THESIS: I made the decision to become a doctor because I feel that there are many aspects to this career that suits me.

-I am a generalist.

I am a multiskilled individual with many interests that are split between scientific and artistic interests. I love puzzels: scrabble, sudoku, crossword puzzles, programming, physics concepts. On the other hand, I am a domestic queen: I enjoy cooking cuisines from many regions (panasian, Latin American, American classics, African). I am a multicraft hobbyist: clay sculpting, knitting, crocheting, pinata making, beadworking, and drawing. However, when I think about it, my scientific and artistic pursuits will help me excel because being a doctor has much to do with art as it does with science.

-->The science of medicine: rhetorical; being able to combine multiple knowledge and come up with a diagnosis or treatment plan

-->The art of medicine: understanding that all decisions made by doctors or (perhaps should not) be based on scientific facts. Like artists, doctors will often have to defend the value of their work to others ( patients, politicians, insurance companies) and doctors have to possess the ability to absorb deep emotions (dealing with constant failures, drawbacks, personal loss, hope).

I realize that if I can pull an all-nighter making wedding pinatas for my friend, I can deal with the stress of having to work odd hours to care for people who are in need. Those are sacrifices I've learned I can live with.

DOCTORS HAVE A HIGH IMPACT SCORE:

Every career has an impact factor. The difference between pursuing a creative or clinical psychology career and a medical career was the impact scale. I realize that while being creative was "nice", it was something that I wanted to reserve for myself and those close to me. It is much more difficult to make a difference in someone's life. As a clinical psychologist, I limited the type of clients I could see. Growing up in a poor and diverse neighborhood, I wanted to make my services available to the poor and uneducated. I want my skills to be universally accessible, so that is why I decided I want to be a doctor. Additionally, more doctors than psychologists are needed.

I LOVE LEARNING

I am a self-professed nerd.I made the most of my education by filling as many classes as I could every semester. I am not the smartest person I know but I enjoy studying (when I have the time), being able to solve some mysteries with a better scientific understanding, being able to see how things come together, experiencing the gratification of solving really difficult homework problems. These personal preferences made me realize that I may not find medical school as miserable as portrayed. They also made me realize that I want to pursue an MD/PhD or MD/MPH degree because I cannot imagine a medical career without research.

I chose to become a doctor because I realize that it's a career that requires life-long learning, not in just the sciences but as a human being. As a parent, I have grown in ways that made me realize I can be a successful doctor.

1. Understand that I will never be quite prepared but my best. (This made me realize that I can cope with failures, ie death of a patient.)

2. Realizing that I have as much to learn from your patients (children) as they do from me. (I enjoy interacting with patients)

From an Asian daughter

Parents....

Yesterday, while I was having dinner with my sister, she suddenly asked me "Well, V what are you studying for anyway?" I responded that I'm going back to medical school but asked her to refrain from telling my mother for fear of her getting her hopes up that I will be a doctor one day. And then she replied,"Well, what's wrong with them having their hopes up for you? Right now you seem hopeless to them. And not just mom, but dad too."

You know what, that really really breaks my heart to hear that. Despite me living on my own and having little help from them raising my child while working on my career, my parents still think I'm a lost cause. I know that parents want the best for you. I can see their good intentions. But there are just moments when I want to cry inside because I realized long ago that no matter what I do, my parents are just never truly happy with the person I've become unless I am everything they want me to be. And I can't be everything to everybody. I'm not perfect. I remember days when I used to live at home, I felt as if I'm constantly battling myself. While other college students get to dorm at school, get crazy drunk, or go to school abroad, I had to come home and cook dinner for the family. I got bitched at several times by my father while studying late at school for midterms/finals. I know my life was never really as miserable as I'm portraying it to be right now, but there were definitely moments when I just wanted to feel less burdened.

I think many kids of asian parents can sympathize with me. It's bad for those kids whose parents constantly nag at them to become doctors when they have absolutely no desire to, but even for me, who had every desire to "help" people and loved my science classes with a passion, that nagging was a turn off. I always wondered if I really wanted to become a doctor only because my parents try to engrain that thought in me. I was idealistic, you can say. I developed my own values and goals beyond just pleasing my parents and it was a part of me that rebelled against the notion that being a doctor meant having it all: the money, the works, the family, prestige. No, I realized early on that those were superficial reasons and anyone going into this business is destined to be disappointed. I chose to wait, to "find" myself, to live whatever's left of my youth before I decide that medical school will take all or most of it away. I know parents want their children to be the best that they can be, but my parents just aren't really good at conveying those types of expectations for me. Yea, I got a lot of potential. But then I'm young. But what if I become a rich famous but miserable doctor? Would they still go about bragging that their child is a doctor? I hate that my parents can't see beyond the figures. I hate that they go bragging about how other people's children are more successful than me when they have NO IDEA what those kids actually do. I hate being called a failure and hopeless; it makes me feel like a child. I just felt like everything I wanted to be or aspired to as a child ("Oh look you're an artist, but you're too dumb for school"; some early dreams of theatre were just crushed also) were crushed, rather than encouraged, by my parents. I know I'm whining. But I'm just frustrated. I just need to remind myself that this is my goal and no one can touch it now.

I know it's kind of bitter of me to say this, but I sure hope my parents are happy when I do get into medical school. Cause that may mean I'll move away and miss more of those family get togethers they love to have (my father used to yell at me for missing these things even when I had to work those days...imagine how that made me feel).

I guess I'm so enraged by the fact that ever since my daughter was born, they've never viewed her as anything else but an omen to my life; something that has ruined every hope of me succeeding in life. On the contrary, I haven't been happier. Granted there are times when I'm frustrated that life hasn't worked out exactly the way I wanted to, but I need to get over that. I love my daughter and she is the most amazing thing that has happened to me and I can't let a little brush with my parents take that away from me. I have to be strong for her. I have to do it for myself.

The hardest thing

Today, H dropped me off of work along with Saya, my 3 year old daughter. Throughout the entire ride, Saya kept whining about how she doesn't want me to go to work and just "go to the park" with her. As a parent, it just breaks my heart when I have to leave her every morning. I spend the remaining free time I have trying to study these past few days and it has definitely had an impact on Saya. She is starting to sneak into our bed more often at night and nursing more, which at times can drive me absolutely insane considering my lack of sleep. To make it even worse, she hugs me every morning and wouldn't let me go to work. Let alone, this is a regular 40-hr work week I'm talking about and I'm already experiencing the pains of not spending enough time with my child. I'm definitely having some doubts about starting my medical career at this moment. I wonder if she's ready for it yet.

Additionally, we are going through some major financial troubles at the moment. My research position is at stake due to low funding and H hasn't been able to secure a decent paying job in the past two years. It's depressing because I can't go back to school even if I was admitted into school this year. And considering my below-average MCAT practice scores, I'm just going to wait it out another year. In the meantime, I'll study as hard as I can but take care of myself and spend a little more time with Saya. Hopefully by then H can find a job and our financial future will get right back on track.

Reason #1: The Most-Used Cliche

I know we all ultimately want to become doctors because we LOVE SCIENCE and WANT TO HELP PEOPLE, so how can I turn this statement around and not make it sound so shallow?

Here's why science fit into my life:

Medicine is based on many sciences of the human body, which fascinates me. I have lost a lot of faith in my religion due to negative experiences during my childhood, but learning about the complexity and beauty of our organ systems, ie the human nervous system, rekindles the spirituality in me. For a long time, I was interested in studying relationships between human behavior in sociological systems, but I learned later on that many of these situations are rooted in physiological processes.

Doctors must possess the ability to synthesize many different science topics and incorporate it into their treatment plan. They also have to maintain a pragmatic approach towards treating for the patient, whether it be knowing how to respond to a violent patient in the ER, or catering a prescription for an elderly patient who has 40 meds to take per day.

How being a doctor fulfills the ultimate desire to help others:

I think being a doctor gives me flexibility in terms of what I wish to accomplish in my career goals and that is
1. help the underserved (in poor communities or during disaster reliefs)
2. healthcare is universal

There are many careers that I have entertained: clinical psychologist, cognitive psychologist, nurse?, physician assistant

clinical psychologist:
impact level is not as high, degree of "help" is limited to wealthy and english speaking population although degree of patient-clinician contact is enticing

cognitive psychologist:
research is competitive and insecure; monotonous

nurse:
shifts not compelling, very little authority but major responsibility

physician assistant:
very little authority on patient's treatment plan

Writing my personal statement

I made the formal decision to pursue a career as a doctor last summer. It was a decision ten years in the making and I think I've reached a point where I can say that becoming a doctor will help me fulfill some of my lifelong dreams. The problem is, it's so friggin hard to put together a personal statement that would reflect the thought processes involved in making this decision, so I started this blog to just ramble on about my preparation with the hopes that I'll hit on something. Right.

Anyhow, here it goes. So far, I have several possible themes for my personal statement:

1. Reflecting on my parent's sacrifices in coming to America and how that made me want to pursue a challenging and worthy career.

Thoughts:
- from an early age I developed an early sense of self and determination because I had to help my parents acclimate to America. I had to teach myself things, contribute to the family's domestic responsibilities, and take care of my younger siblings
- I was always taught the value of hard work and my life was filled with high marks and extracurricular that kept me busy
- I maintained merit scholarships during college because my parents could not afford my tuition

Arguments:
- this illustrates my ability to take on demanding roles but doesnt explain why medicine appeals to me besides the fact that my parents are asians (dammit. the funny thing is I resisted the medical career because thats all my parents want me to go into but I realize that i was NOT going into it for the wrong reasons..)

2. Stating all the reasons why I want to go into medicine and what has caused me to hesistate

This was the second draft of my personal statement and I just realizes that it makes me look very noncommital, despite being realistic. It doesnt seem I've fully addressed all the questions I raised.

3. First draft stated all the reasons I did not want to go into medicine and how those were resolveed by my life experiences.

This was the first draft and I hated it too. It sounded like a poorly written scientific manuscript.

4. This is my latest theme: Discussing how at a young age I was presumed to be an artist who sucked in school. However, I proved everyone wrong by placing at the top of my class, and winning science and history fairs. Later on in life, I'm faced with negative stereotypes about doctors and they threw me off the field. However, I learned that this was ultimately what I wanted to do with my life and rather than complain about the system, I was going to work around it and change the face of medicine. This might sound too ambitious and even insult some on the reviewing committee. It's best to tread lightly on this topic, but I think I can make a convincing argument about comparing art to medicine and how these two make enhance my life.

5. State all the reasons why I loved medicine, what held me back and how the past experiences have helped me resolve these concerns.